Selfies and Travelling – the Scourge of the Earth!

Bloody smartphones. Yes, they can sometimes be useful to find stuff in an instant when you’re on the road.

But God, sometimes they piss me off!

Phone manufacturers have somehow made people feel that these portable computers are an essential part of everyday life, when in reality, they’re creating an emotional ball and chain for you so that you keep aimlessly swiping at more useless crap that you normally click on by using a desktop computer at work!

Actually, smart phones just sound like a good excuse for governments and corporations to profile you so they know every single intimate detail about you, your life, and your eating/dating/fetish habits.

Ironically, who uses their smart phones these days to make actual phone calls? You know, actually speaking to someone?

No, it seems that for 90% of the time, smart phones are only used to take those annoying selfies.

Especially when people go travelling around and they want a photo of themselves in front of some world famous landmark like the Eiffel Tower or the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Kim Kardashian has a lot to answer for! It’s selfie madness!

And now there are selfie sticks to give you photo angles that are longer than your arm!

They might be used by annoyed onlookers as a weapon of mass destruction to turn on the people using them!

Nothing like a romantic romp in the water!

I sometimes think that selfies are the ultimate in photographic masturbation!

You see, I’d rather take pics with my Digital SLR camera because of the better quality and I’d like to take it all in before I take a shot.

If I want to take a pic of myself, I need to use a tripod or actually ask someone to take a pic for me (which is probably why there are not many pics of myself)! But that’s a good excuse to start talking to people!

So in the same breath as my anti-social media and travel hashtags article, here are my top 10 reasons why selfies, when combined with travelling, are the most annoying things on the planet!

Selfies and Travelling – Why They Are Annoying And A Complete Pain In The Arse

1. Hello Narcissist. Nothing screams out ‘look, I love myself way too much’ than taking a huge series of photos of yourself by yourself when you’re on holiday. Your friends will probably suspect that you’re having and affair – with yourself! Thanks Instagram!
2. Related to above, if your posting way too many selfies on your social media networks, it just shows how lonely and unhappy you really are!
3. #You #Start #To #Label #Entire #Words #And #Sentences #Accompanying #Your Selfie #With #A #Damn #Annyoing #Hashtag(s)
4. For the ladies – do you really think posting selfies of your bust or in a bikini in some exotic location are going to make men interested in your personality? They don’t speak!
5. For the men – showing off your ripped abs after a workout at the gym or on the beach just makes people wonder where you sourced your steroids from!
6. Selfies = Travel Spam. Just adding more crap to the internet!
7. While I’m sure it looks, smells, and tastes delicious, no one gives a crap about what the hell you are about to eat! Maybe you should take a photo of what it looks like when it comes out the other end! Now that would be entertaining!
8. Picasso, Van Gogh and Rembrandt knew how to create a masterful self portrait. 99.999999999999999999% of the smart phone owner population don’t! You’re hastily out of focus selfie pic is not going to end up in the Louvre any time soon!
9. Does this travel selfie make me look fat? No, it’s the countless days of boozing up and eating crap food and no exercise whilst you’re on the road that does! And finally….
10. Instagram filters are just like beer goggles – making things attractive just because you adding a dose of distortion to what you really look like. Get a life!

There you go, there’s my rant!

How about you? What do you hate about selfies?

Annoying blog posts like this that complain about them? 🙂

Share your rage with the world!