You Know That You’ve Been Living in China Too Long When…

China – the most insanely developing economy of the past 30 years. I say it’s capitalism at it’s most extreme. The way this country has rocketed to be the second largest economy in the world after the United States is series of mind boggling numbers in terms of construction and development.

Because of this crazy pace of growth, all sorts of mutli-national companies have set up shop in various cities in China which has meant that a large flow of expats have flown in to live in one of the humoungous cities for a period of time. Hence, these people have really got stuck into the Living in China mantra for a while and have taken on some of the culture and habits of the place.

This means that western folk start absorbing some of the culture and habits of the locals to a point when you are almost accepted as one! But that’s the whole point of travelling (and expat life) – is to take on the habits of some of the cultures that you really like and adopt them as your own!

So here it is – my checklist to look out for if you have stayed somewhere in China for a very long time!

You Know That You’ve Been Living in China Too Long When..

You start to become tired of the many forms of improvised transport available to move entire families from Point A to Point B

Insects are now an essential part of your diet

You’ve bought a shark or crocodile from Wal Mart

You become used to eating a meal where could not identify the origin of the meat

You always bring a gift with you when you visit someone

You always refuse food at first, even when you’re hungry, but you don’t when asked the second time

You never assume that the first ‘no’ to a question actually means no

You don’t mind taking a swim in a swimming pool that feels like a moshpit in the front row of a concert

Happy grass always means something completely different to the type that used to make you hallucinate

You think that grey skies are normal and that blue skies are really, really weird

It’s healthier to go back home and smoke a packet of cigarettes a day than stay in one of the big Chinese cities

In addition, having an eternity of black boogers hanging out of your nose is ‘just the way it is’

You eagerly watch how Chinese New Year drastically reduces the global economy for a few days because the all of the factories have stopped production during this time

You also know what animal was associated with every year back to the beginning of time

You just eat out every night because this is way cheaper than trying to cook your own Western style food at home

And most of the time, you’ve eaten something exotic like jellyfish rings

Coffee has been eliminated from your diet and has been replaced with tea

Negotiating on every task is now just a part of everyday life. Even if that’s just trying to post a letter overseas

You’ve visited the factory where you have bought your barbeque from back at home

You become tired of haggling with street vendors over a few cents

You’re amazed to see a clear day

Overloaded motorbikes are your preferred way to move your entire apartment

You have never, ever made someone ‘lose face’ in the past 2 years. No matter how much someone has pissed you off

You become bemused when you come across a toilet that doesn’t have both the squat and sit down versions installed

You’ve had a drink or eaten a meal at [insert food or drink name here] ‘bucks’

You’re no longer amazed that it takes longer to travel anywhere by car when compared to the old fashioned way of a rickshaw being pulled by a human

You really get a kick about taking your foreign friends to view the funny restaurant menus in Chinglish

You think that people dressed up in panda suits doing work in the street seems completely normal

People resting in strange locations, like on a chain or in any uncomfortable position, are just ‘part of the furniture’

You become used to seeing the ripped off versions of KFC and start up a chain of fried chicken yourself that pilfers the KFC logo

You’ve bought a T-Shirt with an English obscenity written on it in letters ten foot tall because you know that no one else is going to understand it besides other English speakers

You don’t blink an eye to the threatening signs hanging up in some of the hostels

Signs that used to make no sense at all are actually understandable now

You’ve contracted asthma even though you never had it before in your life

You’re shocked when you buy something that is not made in China

You tire of waking up in front of a newly completed skyscraper every morning

Amusing sounding translations don’t make you laugh anymore

You’ve gone through about 10 air purifiers for your apartment – and about 200 water purifiers

You’ve also bought shares in every air purifier company you can lay your hands on

You’re surprised when a pollutant level falls below the World Health Organisation limit

Checking out the Great Wall of China is pretty boring

You’ve witnessed a population explosion in the last week

You only buy live crabs from a vending machine

You’ve met a kid who is named ‘Olympic Games’

You can easily spot the counterfeit goods from the markets (that is, the ‘genuine imitations’) from the real goods in the shops

You’ve bought a counterfeit good because it was actually better than the real one

You are always on the lookout for the most bizarrely themed theme park you can lay your eyes on

You have a framed photo of Chairman Mao somewhere in your apartment

You don’t bother chasing an up an application for anything that has been ‘lost in the adminisphere’

You think that your kids are failures when they just miss out on top grades at school

Having rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner becomes normal… and finally

You can’t stand having Chinese takeaway back home because the stuff you’ve had in China is just so much better and ‘un-Westernised’

More Living in China Stuff

How about you?  What’s some of the things you’ve picked up from Chinese Culture by living in China for an extended period of time? Leave a comment below and share with the rest of the world!

See more at China in the 21st Century: What Everyone Needs to Know®