G20 Countries – What I’d Like Them To Chat About at the Summit!

Silly season is about to start – the G20 summit in Brisbane will happen in a couple of days where the leaders of the world’s 20 biggest economies will sit down for a big talk fest to chat about loads of world issues in depth so that nothing will probably be done about them! ;P

Anyway, I’m sure that if any of us are going to be a fly on the wall, the talks would probably be a great cure for insomnia! I doubt media coverage will surpass the mass of cat videos out there in internet land, but there might be a blip in the Twitter trends for a little while!

Security has been ramping up for a couple of months now. I’m sure everyone who has taken a walk on the street has been recorded by CCTV, and I’ve even come across how the authorities are not mucking around when it comes to having the eyes of the world looking at what goes on. As an example, I was doing a travel photography course a few weeks back in the centre of Brisbane and we were told off by security for taking a photo of a sculpture at the base of a government building. Not of the actual building itself! Oh well!

Even though some big names like Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin will be in town, I’m probably not going to score an invite to interview them any time soon being a Z grade internet celebrity! However, local businesses are trying to cash in on the event, with even a popular burger store releasing a tasty morsel called the ‘Big Bad Vlad’, which is only available during the G20.

Anyway, when I looked at the list of G20 countries attending, I was pretty happy to see that I had been to about three quarters of them to date. I’ll try to get to all of them one day! There’s a diverse mix of places there, all with different view points and all of them wanting to get their position across. And I’m sure they all have their standard positions where they won’t want to budge!

We’ll see what comes out of the summit, but if I was running the show, I would like to lighten things up a bit!

I’d bring a silly agenda of topics this is what I would want each of the member countries to bring up during the discussions, or nominate something for each country to supply or do. People might even take notice if the world’s leaders talked about these things!

Here goes!

G20 Countries – what they should really be talking about at the summit!

• Argentina – they should start an ‘eat off’ to see which world leader can consume the largest amount of steak at dinner. Even it Vladimir Putin says it’s going to be him.
• Australia – they just need to work out which pub the world leaders should meet at so they can be more productive after a few beers.
• Brazil – needs to lobby why they are the world’s biggest economy based on how many condoms are used during Carnival time!
• Canada – they need to suggest that everything should be made from the same stuff that makes their rubbish bins bear proof so this reduced maintenance costs for everything around the world!
• China – all of the world leaders menus should be written in Chinglish just to see if anyone can figure out what they are about to eat.

• France – need to supply Pschitt Lemonade as the official refreshment.

• Germany – should lobby everyone else to buy urinal soccer pitches so that all men’s toilets around the world will never have to deal with splashback ever again!

Is this really ‘taking the piss’ out of soccer?

• India – need to supply Knock Out beer to keep the conversation flowing – or stop it completely

• Indonesia – these guys need to bring up how to sell denim by trying to outdo each other with outlandish props

• Italy – the Italians need to bring up how to increase GDP by implementing the shonky taxi fare calculator system.
• Japan – they should talk about ramping up the amount of vending machines around the world to reduce distribution costs.
• Republic of Korea – make sure Dr Bong is available to treat anyone in the leader’s entourage that becomes ill suddenly.

• Mexico – the Mexicans need to brutally enforce siesta time, and to make sure that every single country in the world adopts this wonderful past time!
• Russia – Who knows what Vladimir Putin is going to bring up. I hope he turns up shirtless in the official photo – on his horse! I might be able to test out some Russian Expletives with him!
• Saudi Arabia – they need to bring the nicest cars for everyone to drive around in! And supply the fuel! Like the one I saw in Dubai.

• South Africa – they need to bring a supply of vuvuzelas just to make sure no one nods off during the talks.

• Turkey – the Turks need to promote how they can make more money from ‘Natural Viagra‘

• United Kingdom – they need to bring out the guy I saw who could dance with a beer can on his head for the entertainment.

• United States – I’d like them to supply me a joyride in Air Force One as an ultimate junket for moi when the President isn’t using it. The world’s most famous jumbo jet will be just down the road from me, so it shouldn’t be too much of a big deal.. ;P
• European Union – this collective just needs to agree on something!

There you go.

What do you think member countries should bring up at the summit? Leave your silly suggestion for the world. Bonus points if they actually bring this stuff up!