Funny Boating Jokes, Nautical Quotes, Sailing Puns and Boat Names!

One thing that many punters do when travelling (including myself) is hopping on board a boat and hopefully not bringing up the entire contents of their stomach if they go out on a boat trip of some kind – for example, fishing for yellowfin tuna, or going for a boat trip to some tropical island to sod around in the sun all day and becoming the next lobster look alike.

Some people are lucky enough to have their own private yacht where they can pretty much drop anchor anywhere in the world, whenever they want! Some day, I might be lucky enough to step on board a metal beast like this!

I have a love/hate relationship with boating. I remember being dragged out by my dad near fishing areas around the Great Barrier Reef in the hot stinking sun all day, and waiting for hours before I received a nibble on the end of my line.

If we managed to catch a great table fish like a Coral Trout, the meal would be worth it! But then again, I’ve had some great boat trip parties that I’ll never forget, so I’m a Yin and Yang kind of guy when it comes to boating.

But hey, walking down towards a marine of moored boats to go on a trip in the outdoors is a much, much better option than being trapped inside the fluorescent prison! Give me that any day, as long as I don’t end up like Tom Hank’s character in the Castaway movie. Or any other Tom Hanks movie involving travel.

So today’s silly post is dedicated to boating jokes and is supported by D’Albora Marinas.

Boating Jokes Time!

Here we go!

Q: What do you call waiting 5 hours to catch a fish? A: Quick!

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

All sailors and fishermen are liars except you and me. and I’m not so sure about you.

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears? A: A Buccaneer! (a buck an ear, boom boom..)

“I finally snapped,” the man said. “Last night while I was going over the bills, I discovered how much money my wife squanders and I hit the roof.” “What did you do?” asked his friend. “I stormed into the bedroom and gave her a lecture on economy and thrift.” “Did it help?” “I’ll say. Tomorrow we’re selling my boat and sailing equipment.”

Q: How many boaters does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, because the right size bulb isn’t on board, the local marine-supply store doesn’t carry that brand, and the mail-order house has them on back-order.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a dock line? A: One should be whipped at both ends: the other keeps your boat tied to the dock.

A very nervous first time crew member says to the skipper, “Do boats like this sink very often?” “Not too often,” replied the skipper. “Usually it’s only the once.”

Q. Why are pirates really cool? A. Because they ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!

Here are some Funny Boat Names!

And to add onto the nautical theme, I know of loads of people who own boats seem to like naming their boats with some silly boat names which are a play on words in regards to their floating vessels.

Here are some very funny examples I’ve come across due to my extensive shonky research!

Would you call your boat any of these? I’d be tempted!

Some of the best funny boat names I’ve seen include:

1. Seas The Day
2. She Got The House
3. Feeling Nauti
4. Usain Boat
5. Nautiboy
6. Unsinkable II
7. Aboat Time
8. To Sea or Knot To Sea
9. Costaplenty
10. Beeracuda
11. Passing Wind
12. She’ll Get Over It
13. Hydro Therapy
14. Bow Movement
15. Farfrompuken
16. The Codfather
17. Pier Pressure
18. Cirrhosis of the River
19. Campbells Condensed Sloop
20. Marlin Monroe
21. Aquaholic
22. Dijabringabeeralong
23. Moor Often Than Knot
24. Yeah Buoy

There you go, if you’re dreaming of going onto the ocean for your next trip, think of these silly boating jokes next time! Even if you’re on The Love Boat..

Thanks again D’Albora Marinas for supporting this article!

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