The Best ‘How To Save Money For Travel Tips’ – The Silliest List Ever!

I think every bloody travel blogger and their dog has come up with some list of How To Save Money Travel Tips at some point during their blogging career. Some travel bloggers can devote an entire blog to this kind of subject matter. *Yawn* ;P

So I’ve decided to jump aboard this dodgy bandwagon and come up with a list of my own. But these are different to the bog standard boring list of racking up frequent flyer points, avoiding bank fees, selling your grandmother, budgeting away by spending less than you earn, and featuring websites like couchsurfing! Blah blah blah!

Hell no, I’m going to list some unusual or silly money saving tips that I’ve come across on the road, or that I’ve foolishly used myself! And then there are some that I’ve made up which probably should end up on a Jackass episode which are probably more harmful than useful.

I’ve managed to scrape the bottom of the barrel and come up with 50 of them! More time for you to waste at work!

Anyway, some of these are probably impractical, or downright useless. But at they’re different to the usual dribble of travel tips that are out there! WARNING: Use these How To Save Money Travel Tips at your own risk!

Here they are:

The Silliest How To Save Money Travel Tips, EVER!

Best Silly 'How To Save Money For Travel Tips'

  1. The cheapest countries to visit are ones where recent riots have scared all of the tourists away. Once it’s safe, turn up and the exchange rate would have dived, making it a travel bonanza! And you’ll have the place to yourself!
  2. One large backpack can be easily substituted by two small daypacks – one carried at the front on your chest, and the other on your back. I actually did see one backpacker travel this way in Bariloche in Argentina. I thought I was a light traveller, but this guy put me to shame
  3. Don’t buy any books that offer money saving travel tips
  4. If you are travelling into Australia, tell the helpful people at customs that you have dirty boots. You’ll score yourself a free boot clean because they’re paranoid of introducing any feral bugs into the country!
  5. Underwear can be worn 4 times before washing – frontwards, backwards, inside out frontwards, and inside out backwards
  6. Forget the smelly hostel dorm room bed, try sleeping on a beach, park bench or bus station floor. They’re all free!
  7. If you do go the dorm bed option, bed bugs can be used as an extra source of protein!
  8. The only difference between looking like a hipster and looking homeless is whether or not you are using a smart phone or not. Put the phone away and no one is going to think you’re worth robbing!
  9. If you’re near an ocean, you won’t have to pay for any showers
  10. If you want to buy souvenirs from the Victoria Falls market, the stall holders are more than happy to exchange items for your clothes – so bring over all of your unwanted stuff and swap it!
  11. Brush up on your Spanish numbers – buses in Argentina give away a free bottle of wine if you win their bingo game on board! Great if you don’t want to spend money on wine!
  12. Find yourself a sugar daddy/mama in every country that you visit! You’ll live the high life and won’t have to pay a cent. If you are really that interested, check out SugarDaddie.com and Sugarmamameet.com
  13. Earn money overseas in jobs that the locals don’t want to do. But don’t use this as a career move though!
  14. If you’re American and are haggling over something at a market, say that you’re Canadian instead
  15. If you’re Australian and are haggling over something at a market, say that you’re from New Zealand instead
  16. If you want to risk a country’s prison system, why not avoid fares on public transport by travelling without a valid ticket?
  17. See if you can survive your entire world trip on 2 minute noodles
  18. Try total abstinence from all forms of alcohol. I don’t really like this one.
  19. Walk everywhere.
  20. If you are really, really desperate, save on alcohol costs in Australia by drinking out of a ‘goon bag’. This is cheap and nasty ‘wine’ that is sold in a 4 litre silver bag with a dispenser. It’s like drinking razor blades, and as an added bonus, you can inflate the bag into a ‘silver pillow’ and use it to sleep off this dodgy booze in a garden somewhere (I’ve actually seen someone do this, and it’s not pretty!)
  21. Be an alcohol desperado and punch in all of the local happy hours in your smart phone and be sent an automatic alert when they’re on!
  22. If a bus has chickens on it, it’s cheap
  23. Stuff yourself silly at lunch time so you can avoid breakfast – an easy way to eliminate one third of your food budget!
  24. Be a complete nerd and google ‘free wi-fi’ [city that you’re in] so you can be a total cheapskate!
  25. See if being a stowaway in the plane wheel arch actually works
  26. Set up a google alert for each city you visit with the word ‘free’ included!
  27. Bring your fishing line everywhere
  28. Hitchhike if you dare after watching Wolf Creek, which is about travellers being murdered in outback Australia
  29. Stop being a water nazi and drink the stuff straight out of the tap as long as it won’t leave you sitting on a toilet for a week
  30. Learn the words ‘free’ and ‘beer’ in every language
  31. Start a silly travel blog and score as many free junkets as possible.. πŸ˜‰ (Guilty as charged!)
  32. Find out the cheapest places to drink beer on my beer index
  33. Try and go cold turkey with your coffee addiction and try some cheaper drug to stay awake at work while saving up for your trip
  34. Sell everything you own, even if you really need it.
  35. Stop smoking, otherwise cancer will cure smoking, eventually. Get rid of blowing your dosh on those cancer sticks!
  36. Don’t do anything when you finally get overseas and experience nothing
  37. If you don’t value your smile, stop seeing your expensive dentist
  38. Stop smoking dope so you don’t get a large dose of the munchies at 3am
  39. Never eat at a restaurant again – just cook for yourself at all time
  40. Only visit third world countries to take advantage of the exchange rate. Who cares about visiting the first world?
  41. Haggle for everything – even in countries where haggling is a social no-no
  42. Become a drug mule and don’t get caught
  43. Become a stowaway on a cruise ship and sneak up to the all you can eat buffet once in a while
  44. Go to any country that is classified in some sort of ‘Axis of Evil’ because no one else is going there
  45. Always, always, choose the booze that has the cheapest unit cost per litre, regardless of how rough it is
  46. Become a gringo extra in a foreign movie, even if you can’t understand a single word of what everyone else is saying
  47. Say ‘it’s your shout’ when it comes time to pay a bill (‘it’s your shout’ means, someone else pays the entire bill instead of you)
  48. Camp everywhere. Even in places where you are not allowed to
  49. Fly an airline that has recently had a crash, and finally…
  50. Waste your time on silly travel blogs like this one and actually apply one of these stupid how to save money for travel tips list posts.

There you go, there’s a few more minutes of your life you will never get back! Let me know if one of these tips actually work for you, or even if you found it a little bit useful!

More How To Save Money Travel Tips Stuff

I’m fairly certain that this shonky list will never appear inΒ 101 Money Saving Travel Tips.

About Anthony The Travel Tart

The Travel Tart writes about the funny, offbeat and weird aspects of world travel today. Travel wasn't meant to be taken too seriously! Check out ways to say hi below or sign up for his silly newsletter!

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10 Comments

  1. September 17, 2013    

    So funny! Re #20 – that was totally acceptable behaviour when I was in high school!

  2. September 19, 2013    

    Ahahaha this is hilarious! I particularly love number 1, 8, 15, 23 and 42! Nice work πŸ˜‰

  3. September 24, 2013    

    These crack me up. For number one…I have a knack for going to a country right before the riots…so the exchange rate is at it’s highest, and then a few days later it plummets…just to annoy me.

  4. October 15, 2013    

    Great list. Ashamed to say that I too have slept with my head on a goonbag. Goon is a neccesary evil in a country where a small beer in a club sets you back 10 dollars.
    The goons’ insta-hangover is terrible.

  5. October 29, 2013    

    Haha the one about getting your boots cleaned in customs is true – I do it all the time! Great post πŸ™‚

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