I’ve never had to take one because I was born here, but for many people who immigrate to Australia from overseas, most have to jump through a number of hoops to get hold of that treasured piece of paper that is Australian Citizenship by undertaking the Australian Citizenship Test.
This involves a number of multiple choice questions that outline bits of Australian history and the way of life. You have to pass a certain amount of questions to complete the citizenship process, otherwise you’ll have to resit it and do it all over again.
If you’re interested, you can take a practice test on the official site to see if you would pass! I think a number of people who were born in Australia would probably fail the test!
To me, it sounds like another piece of bureaucratic procedure to add into the adminisphere, but it’s a mandatory step to acquire that Australian passport.
But I’ve decided to poke a bit of fun at the test by including questions that should reflect what some Australians experience in their way of life.
Some of these might actually be close to the truth. You know, there normally is at least an element of truth when it comes to the stereotype!
Here we go. I’ve included some Australian slang translations and some answers to give you the right idea!
Application for Grant of Australian Citizenship – The Test That Should Be Used!
1. How many slabs of beer can you fit in the back of a Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
2. When packing an Esky (this is an ice chest or cooler box) which one do you put in first to maximise the amount of space for the beer bottles? The ice, or the beer?
3. How many beers are there in a slab?
4. Why are there so many ‘Big Things in Australia‘?
5. Does “yeah-nah” mean
a) “Yes and no”
b) “Maybe”
c) “Yes I understand but, No I don’t agree”?
6. When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?
7. Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC, how did he pass away and have you visited his shrine?
8. How far would you drive to have a beer at a pub?
9. Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer at a mate’s place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket
d) Drinking beer at a mate’s place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
10. Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza? Would you eat both of these at the same time?
11. How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
(Legend says it was a mammoth 52 cans at altitude. That’s the word going around town).
12. How many beers can you drink from Sydney to Melbourne in a Commodore travelling at 110km/h?
13. How do you apply your tomato sauce to a meat pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
c) Flooding the entire surface area whilst emptying the entire contents of the tomato sauce bottle?
14. Does Australia’s most famous boat race take place on water?
15. Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yard glass full of beer the fastest?
(this one was true, it was Bob Hawke)
16. Have you ever had/do you have a mullet? (The hairstyle, not a fish).
17. Following on from the above question, what is a bogan?
18. On which Ashes tour did Shane Warne use his phone to text message the largest amount of women?
a) 1993
b) 1997
c) 2001
d) 2005
19. How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbecue with all of your mates supervising before being served?
20. Have you ever put ‘the pedal to the metal’ in a V8 car?
21. Can you sing along to Cold Chisel’s Khe Sanh? Which pub(s) have you undertaken this?
22. Explain both the “follow-on” and “Leg Before Wicket” rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter and how much beer can be drunk waiting for the decision….
23. Name at least 5 items that must be taken to the beach.
24. Have you ever been to Nimbin and actually remembered what you did there?
25. When is it best to take a sick day from work?
a) When the cricket’s on
b) When the cricket’s on
c) When the cricket’s on?
26. Is a beer cup snake a legitimate form of recycling?
27. What is someone is most likely to die of in Australia?
a) Great White Shark
b) Red Back Spider
c) Sunburn
d) One of those world’s most venomous snakes
e) Your wife after a big night
f) Dropbear?
28. What animal is on the Bundy Rum bottle?
29. What is the difference between a pot, a middy and a pint of beer, to the closest millilitre?
30. What Australian phrases can you recite that have a double meaning?
31. What are thongs?
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They’re called jandals, bro, eh?
32. What are Budgie smugglers? Would you be silly enough to wear them?
(these are tight fitting Speedo type male swimwear. Other nicknames for them include ‘meat hangers’ and ‘banana hammock’. You get the idea.)
33. Is Nibbling Nobby’s Nuts a socially acceptable thing to do?
34. What brand and size of Esky will you be purchasing, and what will you be keeping cold in it?
35. Can a cockroach be used in a race, and can you also place a bet on it winning?
36. What does having a ‘chunder’ mean?
(for our North American friends – this means barf, spew, throw up..)
37. Is XXXX beer or adult entertainment?
38. Is the traditional Australian Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables. Also ham.That takes you a whole week to crap out. In 40 degree heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbecue, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. That takes you a whole week to digest. In 40 degree heat, or
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. That takes you an entire month to digest.
Okay there you go!
How about the people who have scored Australian Citizenship themselves? What silly questions do you think should be put into the Australian Citizenship Test?
Leave a comment below to spread the laughs!
You’ll have to brush up on some Australian Slang first! And maybe eat some vegemite!
Hi Anthony,
I loved reading your hilarious post about the Australian citizenship test. You have a great sense of humor and a knack for making fun of the absurdities of the test.